Wall.

This wall is closing around me and I can't stop it. I feel like a thousand warning signs are blaring in my head, but I can't force myself to get away. Memories attack as I sleep, but I convince myself they mean nothing. But here it is, with my mind trying to control the other half of the same mind, with my heart standing still. I need to understand, and I need truth, and I need trust, and I need to know there's nothing else. But sometimes I can't figure out what's going on inside your head, not that I need to constantly, but maybe that' just what I need for now. I keep telling myself its all just fears starting to realize just how safe I feel and it's time to shut down before pain, I can only convince myself it's all real for so long before instincts take over. I hear that I need to let go of what happened before, but it seems like it will always be there waiting to remind me just how stupid I can be. I need to know if you still hear me, even if it isn't exactly the way we promised to be heard. I need to convince myself that it's all okay, before this all falls apart.

I really don't want this to fall apart.