Right when I start to laugh at myself for even considering it as a possibility you make me feel like I'm on top of the world all over again.

I am a hypocrite.


I can never stop myself.


You taught me how to lie.

you.

you need to grow up.

because i am done with this little game you've always seemed to love.

it's ridiculous how you think you understand me,

but if i call you on it, you won't admit that you do.

i've never claimed to understand you, but you've assumed that i thought i did.

i'll admit that i thought i had a chance, but im giving up now.

it's nothing now, and you should know that, you're the one that made sure i understood.

say goodbye, one more time, let me rise back to life. i was wrong, you were right, let me go, it's polite.

.

rip conor ryan.

06.19.10.

airliner.

So can we just slow down while you make this mistake, just slow down so my heart don't break.

It's like your flying through the sky in a big airliner, looking at me with those dark brown eyes you say, "I'll be forever yours." Coming undone and my seams unravel, you know that I love you but my heart won't travel but I'll still be yours.

and it always comes down to this spot.
where i think everything is going to be okay, 
im a strong person again,
but then something like this happens and i want to tell someone,
so maybe they can make me feel strong again,
but all the people that i would tell left me.
and i dont know who to tell about this,
cause i have no one that i know would truly care.


but then again if they left, maybe they never did care.

wake up.

suicide is real. why is it so ignored and looked down on? i know it's a bad choice, but it's not a choice to be ignored.
it's like we live our lives, thinking everything is super great, and we think we and everyone around us are  invincible.
but we're not.
we have no idea when suicide, death, accidents can slip in and take someone.

i dont know.