When I first met you, I never thought you’d ever take a second look at me. And at first, I was so right it hurt. The realization that there were so many others you wanted more made me feel broken – like pieces were missing from my puzzle.
But I went on, talking to you some, letting you leave me with countless butterflies and a million questions swirling. It was like a hundred piece puzzle, and if I could find the corners and borders, I could get the big picture that I needed to get to you.
I wanted to know you – who you were, and why you were. But you honestly didn’t care. You were you because you could be, and you are who you are, because the world has broken you down to be just that – a clone of thousands of others, yet a little more.
Soon the borders were finished, and an outline of the most beautiful disastrous picture was taunting me.
Soon, we became close, and even that seemed unreal. The butterflies reserved themselves for someone new and the questions faded to such real knowing that I never wanted anything more. I knew you were more then you put yourself off to be – like I had originally expected – yet, there was still some unknown about you. Some pieces were missing that were so crucial to the puzzle, yet you could still see the picture.
You started to change, you were acting so strange – I thought it was all ending. Pieces started to fall out and bend, and I tried to shove them in the wrong places. I looked at the spaces I had to fill, and the pieces I had left to fill them, yet none of it made sense. It was like you had given me a two sided puzzle, but I hadn’t noticed until now. You turned things around so fast I felt as if I would fall any second. You turned it back into a love game, but this time you being the one seeking for the pieces. I tried to stay back, knowing nothing good would come out of it, but you pushed so hard, and I became weak and tired. It was easy for you; you had had this puzzle so memorized it took no time.
You changed your mind at one point, and made it into a thousand piece puzzle and had me put it together. I started working at it slowly, but never really searched for the corners, which I knew were crucial. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to see the full picture anymore. You promised it would be beautiful…but how could I be sure? You had tricked me many times before – it wasn’t a hard thing for you.
But soon, after much coaxing from you, I searched for the vital pieces; the ones that would make everything fall into place. Soon, I had the essentials, and a few of the little ones put in place. But it was like every time I snapped one in, you mixed the others, making it impossible to finish it quickly.
I wanted to give up on this puzzle, try a new one, smaller. But you ensured me that I was so close, said it was only mere moments. I worked harder, snapping pieces so quickly it seemed unreal. The picture was the most beautiful thing I had seen evolve. Bright colors, vivid lines and a clear message – perfection. You smiled and promised me with time, it would be more beautiful, I just had to let the original shock sink in.
But one day, while passing the puzzle, checking to make sure every piece was there, I noticed a few were missing. A look in your eyes told me you knew exactly who took them, but your reassuring voice promised me it was nothing. You would find the pieces and put them back.
But slowly, more pieces started to disappear. Your strong voice told me not to worry, you would find a new, better puzzle. I agreed hesitatively. That had been our puzzle, who was taking it?
You told me that as long as everything was ok with my puzzle, the one I had started with, I would be ok while you found ours. You told me to trust you, and only you.
But as new pieces in my puzzle remind me, trusting only myself would’ve been a better idea. If I had took the time to look at each piece of my puzzle, then compare it to the one we now shared, I could’ve known that nothing was right from the start. But I was so awestruck by the one you had put together for us, I refused to look back at my inferior puzzle.
You tore the pieces of our puzzle from me slowly, handing them to her, all the while keeping your cool, strong voice. Truth is, I'm done pretending. Like everything, the best things come in the ugliest packages. My puzzle was better, more beautiful. ‘Our’ puzzle was messy, sudden and wrecked.
Tears fell from my cheeks as I realized my mistake:
I thought you were the missing piece, but as it turned out, you just ruined the entire puzzle.
No comments:
Post a Comment